The roles are reversed

When do our kids become smarter than us?

A couple of months ago, I sneaked to my mother's house while she was at work and cleaned out her disorganized and botulism-ridden pantry. Okay, the expired cans probably weren't old enough to have botulism, but several of them were years past their expiration dates. Every time I came over and happened to open the pantry door, I would cringe at the sight. Boxes of popcorn and pasta, several varieties soup, Little Debbie snacks, Nutrigrain bars, Teddy Grahams, Blueberry Morning cereal, a peanut butter jar and syrup were all shoved haphazardly in this skinny little space about 18 inches across. Any items that implied cooking made me chuckle -- pasta sauces, lasagna noodles, condensed soups, packets of taco seasonings -- because since I moved out of the house 9 years ago, my mother only seems to make eggs, grilled-cheese sandwiches and toast.

I had mentioned on several occasions that the pantry needed to be cleaned out. Although the pantry is only a foot and a half wide, the items were stuffed so erratically that I could stand there for 5 minutes just gazing at the wonder of it. It was a flashback to my grandmother's pantry which we had to clean out after my grandfather died, and my grandmother decided to move from the lake house into town closer to family. My grandmother's pantry was 10 times bigger than my mother's, and she had canned goods so old that they were oozing thick, black goo -- that is NOT an exaggeration. I did not want my mother's pantry to get like that; in fact, I refused to have it get like that. And any comments I made relating my mother's pantry to my grandmother's pantry usually began a bickering session between my mother and me.

So I came over one day to clean the mess up and throw out the old, expired food. Out of this tiny pantry, I filled 3 large kitchen trash bags full of old food, all of it past the expiration date. I didn't even think that much food could fit into such a small space. Fermented vinegars, crusty sugar, stale marshmallows, expired soups, pasta sauce that was starting to turn grey... it was pretty gross.

The worst part was that I did not know if my mother would be angry at me for taking this bold step. In actuality, it wasn't really my place to come to her home and clean out her pantry... but I really had had enough of it. My daughters don't eat over there very much, but what if they were inadvertently served rotten food? I knew the risk wasn't high (surely any of us could smell or see the food was rotten before serving it), but I used this excuse to justify my actions.

All in all, my mother was okay with it, but mad I threw away her syrup. In my defense it was 2 years PAST the expiration date! She still wanted to use it!

She told her friend and neighbor about what I did with the pantry. Her friend asked, "Why do our kids feel like they need to begin parenting US?"

It made me wonder, when do the kids and parents reverse roles? I wasn't trying to parent my mother, but the food was OLD and UNSAFE. Come on! I couldn't understand why she didn't see that and then take 30 minutes out of her day to clean it up. Is that what it's like living with a teenager?

When will my girls try to parent me? Well, my 4-year-old already tries to do that.

No, Mommy, you do not throw things. (I tossed a toy into the bath tub toy bin.)

Maybe the question isn't WHEN will they start, but WHEN will they be right?